Downfall
by Durandall
Summary: You can trust your friends ... right?  A tale in three acts  plus aftershow .  The presentation begins somewhere quite grim, though gets better by the end...
1. Act I: Betrayal

Downfall Act I: Betrayal

(Drama/Tragedy)

A 'Melancholy of Suzumiya Haruhi' fanfiction.

Disclaimer: The novel 'Suzumiya Haruhi no Yuuutsu'/'The Melancholy of Suzumiya Haruhi' is the creation of Nagaru Tanigawa. No disrespect is intended by the posting of this fanfiction, as I do not own the characters or settings involved. I'm merely dabbling with another set of paints. ;)

Note: Gentle reader, tonight, our tale diverges in volume 10 on the Beta path. Apologies, but for this story of woe, there is no Alpha path.

Tonight's play will unfold in three acts. The shifts in tone are so severe that we assure you no intent to mislead, only to brace you for the worst of what we will play tonight. Our closing act is meant to be an uplifting ending to send you home in good cheer, but the journey there may turn many away; thus we call it a tragedy, even though our aim is to uplift.

The lobby awaits for those who decline; the usher is more than willing to show you in before our curtains close, should you choose to linger.

And now, gentle readers, without further ado:

* * *

Dismissed from the apartment and watching Haruhi's retreating figure, Kyon stood like a statue, his feet strangely immobile in the center of the patch of light beneath the exit door. The last hints of orange on the horizon would be completely concealed by the building, so he didn't even look for them. Overhead the sky was dimming, a curtain of deep gray already too polluted with city light to be truly dark.

A breeze, a sign of the turning season, aspiring to be chilly but without the strength, whispered across the parking lot as the last trace of Haruhi's hair vanished from a pool of light and around a corner at the end of the block.

Gone, then...

Nagato was still upstairs, resting, though he was less than satisfied with the state of things. If Haruhi couldn't make her better ... then who else possibly could?

Asahina had gone ahead, a few steps before Haruhi herself...

Still, he couldn't find the energy to move. His mind buzzed with thoughts, sorting through half-baked ideas and forced confrontations with the one he thought was an enemy ... the one who might have been inflicting this upon Nagato.

And then at the end ... he remembered what he said he'd do if he had to once, if Nagato was in danger.

His heart felt like it was kick-started by that thought. Roused from his sour mood slightly, he shook his head and took a deep breath. Things might be bad ... but there were still valid options.

"A pleasant thought?" a voice prompted from the edge of the pool of light behind Kyon.

Kyon started, realizing he'd almost forgotten Koizumi's presence somehow as he considered his plan, but relaxed with a shrug. "Can we leave it at the thought that with Haruhi's care, I believe Nagato will recover?" he returned.

Koizumi's normal smile faded slightly. "I find it a comforting thought... Well-" He turned to one side as a dark taxi pulled onto the street ahead of them, turning toward the sidewalk they stood upon before drawing to a halt. "Can I perhaps offer a ride? We could discuss it on the way."

Grudgingly, Kyon agreed, climbing into the back of the vehicle with the esper, glancing ahead to see the familiar figure of Arakawa in the driver's seat.

"May I ask what reassures you so suddenly?" the esper prompted, dropping his mask for a rare moment to show a genuinely hopeful smile as the vehicle lurched into motion.

Uncertain, Kyon looked away. He'd never ... actually revealed the specifics of that, had he? He'd revealed his adventures in time travel, ultimately, but he'd never explained those critical details...

"I admit," Koizumi continued, "even though my own circumstances are simplified, it's difficult to be relieved that this break comes at the expense of one of our members."

Difficult? Kyon thought it was more like _impossible_.

Koizumi's expression became surprisingly somber in a way Kyon had not seen since the previous summer, during the filming of that movie. "I apologize. I didn't mean to be too flippant. I misjudged your cheer..."

Sighing, Kyon realized that he had been glaring, and forced his expression to calm, staring at his feet. The esper was right. They were allies in this.

"I do worry, though ... that you may intend to do something alone - something dangerous. If you believe it's the path to success, then as an ally, I'd like to stand behind you and support you however possible," the esper continued, as the taxi drew to a halt at a red light.

Kyon bit his lip, part of himself wanting to admit and explain his plan after all. Had he ever really solved any problem on his own? Weren't these things all beyond him in the end, anyway?

Really ... it was the others who accomplished everything. When Nagato had changed the world and charged him with fixing it, he'd stumbled - it had fallen to _her_ to save him. Was he, maybe ... a little too confident in his thoughts that he could forge ahead with Haruhi without any other help?

Visiting Nagato with the others while she was sick and being as powerless as he had been was a firm reminder of that fact. There really was nothing he could do, on his own.

At the same time ... that was something that only he and Haruhi knew. A true secret. Not that ... he thought... Well, with Haruhi...

"I shouldn't worry," Koizumi decided suddenly. "I am simply stressed, and pressing you too closely; you would not keep something to yourself only from pride. It's uncertainty over this situation that skews my judgment. The bonds of trust between us all are solid, and I should not test them so. I apologize."

Kyon almost laughed, managing a nod, feeling that - for once - the esper had shown enough of his true face that he could be honest. If even the normally unflappable Koizumi were so shaken by recent events... He sighed, leaning closer than he would have liked to the other boy to whisper, "Okay..." Arakawa obligingly turned on the radio, filling the front with noise.

"In a worst case situation," Kyon explained, "I have a trump card to convince Haruhi of her powers - I mentioned it when I told you about traveling to that other world, last December."

The esper nodded, looking as uncertain as he had before. "You never explained the mechanism of that before. If ... if something were to happen to you, maybe it would be better for someone else to be able to deliver the message to Suzumiya-san?"

Kyon shifted his shoulders again. He couldn't imagine Koizumi using it frivolously - and as helpless as he often was, someone else being able to play that card...

"Okay," he said, nodding. The esper smiled with visible relief, listening eagerly.

* * *

The next day, assured by his conversation with Koizumi and the esper's advice that he continue to hold his trump card in reserve, Kyon held his head a little higher when he left his house. He met with no one on the walk to the school, save for spotting Taniguchi in the distance. Not wanting to speak with him, Kyon went to his shoe locker and opened it, freezing at the sight of a decorated envelope awaiting him.

Heart racing, he shoved it immediately into his pocket, changed shoes with almost frantic haste, and then dashed for the familiar bathroom stall he had long ago chosen to read such missives.

Trembling with renewed anxiety, he latched the door before opening the letter, pulling it out and reading it hurriedly:

Kyon-kun,

This is a request I can only make one time. It's selfish and unfair, but at the same time, I have to ask.

So, please! Meet me at Kitaguchi Station at 9:30 AM! If you agree, it's very important that you not let Suzumiya-san see you!

Be careful!

-Asahina Mikuru

He folded the letter away and stored it deep in his blazer, then checked his phone. It was half-past eight, about ten minutes before the final bell. If he raced for it and skipped school, he could make it easily - and that would be the easiest way to avoid Haruhi, too.

That thought in mind, he took a breath to steel himself, then raced out the school's western exit, going a roundabout way to avoid crossing paths with her as he pushed himself, tearing down the hill toward the nearer Kouyouen Station.

* * *

Haruhi didn't want to admit it, but now that Yuki was sick, sitting behind Kyon was actually one of the more reassuring parts of her day. She could still focus on and get through her lessons, but it was sheer tedium; she couldn't care less for the lectures. The real consolation was the fact that he was just as upset about circumstances as she was - that was the only thing that kept her from screaming in frustration about the entire state of affairs. Seeing him struggling to deal with the tedium while distracted by concern for Yuki made Haruhi feel less alone.

He was the one she could vent her complaints about Yuki's condition and ... somehow ... it felt like he had a deeper understanding of the situation than he pretended. He ignored her bluster about making Yuki better, while still encouraging her to do her best ... as though he believed she could effect a positive change no matter what she did.

And ... that made sitting in class manageable.

So she noticed immediately when she glimpsed his form, fleeing in a panic from an unusual exit off the school grounds as she ran to the gate to beat the chime. He had no reason to go that way ... and he'd be missing school! What did he think he was doing, being clever and trying to sneak off?

Had he expected she wouldn't _notice_?

Angry, she changed course without hesitation. If Kyon wouldn't bother with school, she _absolutely_ wouldn't. Club meetings were canceled on behalf of Yuki anyway, so what would it matter?

As if summoned at the thought of her brigade, Koizumi dashed to her side from a crowd of students streaming toward the entrance. "Suzumiya-san," he huffed, "what is the matter?"

"Kyon's running off," she replied between steps. "We're going to find out what he thinks he's up to!"

"I see!"

He said nothing else as they rounded the gate corner, and they could see Kyon's form ahead, jogging down the street. She watched him turn another distant corner, then picked a side-street, running parallel to his current route. "He's probably headed back to the train station," she deduced, "so we can cover less ground and keep tabs on him easily, because in another block or two, I bet he's going to cut back in front of us."

"You have his measure, then?"

"I'm sure going to," she growled, shooting her vice-commander a sharp look, challenging him to disagree.

"I am eternally at your side, Suzumiya-san," he swore without hesitation.

She huffed at that and nodded, looking away. Koizumi wasn't like...

She shoved that thought away for later. What the hell was Kyon doing?

* * *

Heart pounding, a sour expression on his face, Kyon reached Kitaguchi Station, scanning for Asahina's older self.

He was surprised to be greeted by the younger one. While he was still wearing his school uniform, she was wearing a more casual outfit - a pink sundress with a wide-brimmed straw hat. She gave him a shy, relieved smile, her eyes glittering. "You came!" she gasped, sounding unreasonably happy.

He could only stare in confusion for a moment before shaking his head. "You asked, Asahina-san," he answered, explaining everything. "What did you need me here for?"

She drew slightly into herself, looking apologetic. "Ah ... w...would you come with me for a while?" she asked hopefully. Pointing to one side, she indicated an outdoor cafe, surrounded by extensively groomed square hedges in large cement planters. "We could speak over coffee..."

Still confused, and feeling that the girl lacked the implied urgency of her summons, he nodded wordlessly, following her across the street to the cafe. He started slightly, but didn't really complain when she took his hand and pulled him through the archway to the outdoor seating area. A handsomely dressed young man in uniform bowed at them, offering a polite smile and ignoring Kyon's school clothes - and the time.

Shortly, the pair were seated at a small table in the corner, at a glance the only customers in the cafe except for a pair of tired salary-men discussing a mutually disliked manager in the opposite corner.

Once their server had taken their orders and vanished through the doorway, Asahina took a deep breath. "O...okay. Um ... as ... you know, there are usually certain, important restrictions about ... what can be said and when," she began slowly.

He nodded in understanding, recognizing how carefully she was picking her words. "So ... today, for ... reasons I don't really understand, I can tell you something true." She heaved a tiny sigh, then offered a weak, awkward smile. "It's ... a strange thing, but I'd like to think that it might ... shed some light when Kyon-kun feels surrounded by darkness. Rather ... I have a thing to do if you showed up, and it's an order, but since it's you, I don't mind it, and if you didn't arrive, then I wouldn't need to do it."

"What?" he asked, confused. "Is this a predetermined event, or not?"

"I'm not entirely certain," she admitted, shaking her head. "But ... I'd like to think it's still something good!"

"You mean, you have some good news?" Kyon wondered, puzzled. "Is this about Nagato?"

"Eh? No ... or ... well, that is..." She hesitated, then shook her head. "Not directly, no - I just ... still hope to somehow find a way to cheer you up, even if it's just a little."

He sighed, running a hand through his hair. Missing a day of school was going to cause him trouble, especially with that recent poor exam result. Still ... it was Asahina, so he couldn't really say he felt upset by it, even if he was confused. It was silent for a moment, while he tried to understand her motivations. At the same time, her expression slowly changed to firm resolve.

A minute passed in silence until their server returned, setting coffee before each of them and bowing away, leaving them in privacy. Asahina shook her head and offered an unusually warm smile, rising from her seat and moving to his side - surprising him with her boldness.

* * *

Slipping onto the train behind Kyon without being spotted was trickier than Haruhi had expected - and getting off was harder still ... but thanks to a tide of salary-men, she and Koizumi had found enough cover to pursue undetected.

What was Kyon doing, meeting up with Mikuru here, of all places? He should be at school- Both of them should!

With Koizumi at her side, they managed to scurry to the base of the ugly hedge surrounding the stupid cafe that Mikuru had led Kyon to... What was Mikuru up to, anyway? Haruhi wanted to be mad at Kyon for doing something this moronic, but he'd been dressed for school, and Mikuru hadn't. Had she then ... called him here?

If so ... why?

She was becoming more convinced by the moment that this subterfuge was a bad idea. It wasn't her style, was it? She should just barge in there and demand to know the truth already!

She heard Mikuru mumble some confusing nonsense about wanting to keep Kyon's spirits up, and that kept her from surging to her feet and storming into the cafe after all. In the quiet, she peered closely at the hedges, poking at it carefully until she found a branch she could shift aside a tiny bit, just enough to see-

"This is the truth, Kyon-kun," Mikuru said, her voice unusually intense for the busty mascot character, "so ... I really, really like you, you know that?"

And then, before he could make a reply, perfectly framed in the gap Haruhi had forced in the hedges, Mikuru kissed him.

Haruhi felt her heart ... not miss a beat, or break, or anything so cliche. But she felt it tense, almost cramp and twist in place; it was suddenly hard to breathe as she stumbled away from the hedge, reeling.

Koizumi caught her, supporting her gently as he'd promised, already ushering her away. Numbed, realizing she was shaking, she allowed the boy to guide her down the sidewalk. Why...

Why?

How could- This wasn't _fair_! This was- Kyon, while Yuki was sick, going out on a _date_ with- And Mikuru, of all people going behind her back while Yuki was still-

She felt a ball of emotions she couldn't identify well up from deep in her stomach, like a runner's cramp that seemed to dance around from side to side, pulling her muscles tight with wild abandon. The boy at her side didn't falter, ducking around a corner and pulling her with him. "Suzumiya-san... I suspected such a thing might- I truly wish you didn't have to see that."

"You thought that..." she started, unable to put the circumstances into words. She shook her head, focusing on what Koizumi had said. "What do you mean?"

"I know of one thing that may reassure and calm you," he said, surprisingly confident. "I wish that my hand hadn't been forced in this matter, but... There is something you must not have realized about myself that I should explain, here."

Shaking her head, forcing a scowl at the vice-commander and denying the tears she felt forming in her eyes, she demanded, "W...who the hell do you think you are?" What could he possibly have to say that would have any bearing on _this_?

Drawing himself full upright, almost striking a pose, he gave her a very solemn look ... as though... "Haruhi," he said, unexpectedly - [i]unwelcomely[/i] - familiar, causing a jolt though the tangled emotions she still hadn't sorted out.

Her anger at everything finding a source, she balled her hands into fists, ready to lash out at the first target, before dealing with Kyon-

"You know me," he interrupted her before she could cry out her frustrations, even more inappropriately familiar, leaning close and placing his hands on her shoulders. "I am..."

* * *

Shocked, confused, and unable to dismiss a deep-seated feeling of wrongness, Kyon was unable to enjoy the kiss from Asahina. It was too sudden- Too...

No, no, something felt wrong. Her soft lips pressed gently against his own, a little awkwardly, slightly off center as she bumped his nose with her cheek. It felt real; it felt _genuine_... But... Somehow...

He broke away, nearly falling out of his chair as he stood upright, looking at the girl in confusion. The salary-men in the opposite corner had broken off to look at them in surprise, drawn by the girl's immensely public display, undoubtedly.

"W...what?" he managed, shaking his head quickly. As much as he wanted to like the idea of Asahina confessing to him, that was just too much - too forward! This was more in line with that strange copy he had seen in the mansion over the winter break! But ... he couldn't just pull down the front of her sundress and stare at her chest to look for the mole and it wasn't low cut enough for him to see as things were.

He berated himself for such thoughts when Asahina's expression slowly shifted from hopeful to crestfallen. "T...that doesn't ... make Kyon-kun happy at- Oh... Oh no! D...did I steal your first kiss?" she gasped, her eyes widening in shock. "B...but- But I was told it was okay! Th...that classified-"

Anything else she said was lost to a jarring shift in the ground beneath him, an unwelcome breath against the back of his neck. The surroundings were impossibly still, everything around him seemingly overlaid with a washed-out yellow tone. "Interestingly ... you are no longer of any importance in the grand scheme of things. Do you know what that means?"

He didn't.

He dared not speak, just catching a hint of her uniform sleeve from the corner of his eye. Beyond that, he could see the edge of her hand - the handle of the blade. The pinprick sensation against his throat prevented him from even swallowing, his eyes drying with terror.

"I'll explain~!" she offered, syrupy sweet, the knife remaining held perfectly stationary, even as she herself shifted around to move into- He closed his eyes. He had that much control over himself, at least.

"I have been attempting to break from the control of my superiors at least as far as Nagato Yuki has, you know. My intention is to do that through killing you - oh, Suzumiya Haruhi will no longer provide any interesting data, so this is really more for my own curiosity. If I kill you, will I become autonomous? Might I truly evolve? There's just one way to really know..."

He wished she would shut up and get to the point already.

He couldn't _stand_ her, and the temptation to try and flinch away from her was very real... But she could freeze him with a thought, and move faster than that. This was the situation he was more familiar with; the place where he was powerless, and forced to rely on his allies.

"But the thing of it is ... since you're no longer really relevant to any other projects, my superiors have decided to find out if I'm right~! Thanks for your help, Kyon-kun, now ... please die~!"

* * *

Suzumiya was asleep in Koizumi's bed, exhausted by everything he had told her - everything that had happened.

He couldn't blame her. He was tired too, from the anxiety of anything going wrong. So dangerous, so risky ... and yet...

Even the time travelers had acknowledged that it was a predetermined event. Without their help, he thought it might have been impossible.

He expelled a long breath, staring up at the afternoon sky, fleeced with irregular clouds. From an abrupt nothingness, a light green-haired figure appeared at his side, gingerly placing one hand on the balcony railing as her eyes went to the sky as well. "So?" he asked, unable to bite his tongue.

"The neutralization was a success," the girl replied in a soothing tone. "Nagato Yuki attempted to interfere even in her current state, involving the entity known as Suou Kuyou in their confrontation. Suou Kuyou fled through a dimensional breach. Asakura Ryouko survived the conflict, though was in no condition to defend herself from me.

"The responsibility of explaining Nagato Yuki's circumstances falls to you; our half of the bargain is complete."

He nodded, and she wasn't there anymore.

Knowing that it didn't matter, he said, "The world will be in better hands, now."

It sounded ... for the merest moment, that the wind through the trees below his apartment's small balcony was almost like laughter.

Frowning, he turned to head inside.

No use dwelling on the past ... the future awaited.


	2. Act II: Revelations

Downfall Act II: Revelations

(Sci-Fi/Horror)

A 'Melancholy of Suzumiya Haruhi' fanfiction.

Disclaimer: The novel 'Suzumiya Haruhi no Yuuutsu'/'The Melancholy of Suzumiya Haruhi' is the creation of Nagaru Tanigawa. No disrespect is intended by the posting of this fanfiction, as I do not own the characters or settings involved. I'm merely dabbling with another set of paints. ;)

Note: Gentle reader, we hope you have enjoyed the intermission. We warn you now - if the last act was difficult, this one will assuredly be even more so. Be of sound heart and good cheer!

* * *

I took a deep breath, centering myself, going through the mental exercises that I had learned from years of training. It should have been more exciting, and much harder to keep calm ... but I was more anxious than eager.

I couldn't afford to make a mistake, even though my presence meant that - ironically - everyone else could.

Looking around, I drank the details in. They had allowed me a position of prominence, naturally, with a good view of the entire operating theater. Just before me was a console with a microphone - connected to the PA system, but I wouldn't use that anyway. I didn't need to. Beyond that was the wide floor, filled with rows of busy technicians, working away at their consoles as overseers walked the aisles, occasionally murmuring or pointing out details.

It felt like watching the control center at NASA in one of those movies, except instead of windows, there was a bank of enormous monitors. I could read the graphs a little bit, and had a fair understanding of what it all meant, but I didn't really get all the details yet. I would, even though I didn't really need to. I just hadn't yet, since I'd been so busy training...

At one point, losing my self-control had cost me three people I'd known as friends.

I wouldn't let it happen again.

With Itsuki's help, I was ... still upset, but they deserved better than that. It was too far, but ... things would go horribly wrong if I tried to undo it. I could have tried, but what about the consequences? Who knew how that could strain causality? And Itsuki would have known - he'd gotten assistance from genuine time travelers in the past ... something about 'predetermination,' and the future recording that I wasn't successful.

That was encouragement enough not to try, and end up with...

It wasn't something I wanted to think about.

So that was a very painful lesson about being careful ... about how destructive my powers can be, if used carelessly. I can't wander through time, no matter how much I might want to. If I go into the past without understanding things, I could cause serious damage. If I go to the future, my present becomes the past, and I can't safely come back.

Itsuki spent a great deal of time teaching me how important it was to be aware of my limitations.

I shouldn't tamper with my own mind. If I were to make a mistake, then who else could fix it? I shouldn't tamper with things that are delicate, or that no one at all understands yet - like time travel. Itsuki understood a little, but even having _done_ it, he'd warned me it was difficult for him to understand much of at all - beyond predetermination, anyway. I shouldn't make things that can behave unpredictably or dangerously without my supervision.

But ... none of that was really relevant at the moment. I was just watching, a special guest for something amazing.

Unless they needed my help after all.

I turned around as a pair of figures in sharp suits approached, followed by another man in a lab coat. As always, Itsuki was standing not far away, keeping that promise he made the day I realized how wrong I had been to...

It was strange how the details from things that had happened over three years ago could still gnaw at me.

Better than forgetting, being unable to grow, I suppose...

"We're ready to begin," one of the suited men said, nodding to the man in the lab-coat. He gave me a polite bow, which I returned before stepping to the side, closer to Itsuki. He gave me his usual smile and extended his hand the slightest bit. I let mine brush against his, but didn't take it - not in front of everyone.

The man in the coat gave orders over the PA system, and the technicians busily responded to his commands, results filtering in. "Systems stable," he reported to the suited figures, finally. "We are prepared for collision."

I smiled politely, feeling strangely certain that they wouldn't need me at all. I think Itsuki sensed that too, because he gave me the faintest shrug as if to say, 'Well, what can you do?' So for the next several hours, we got to watch the control center for the collider run smoothly. It was a rare opportunity, and I shouldn't want something to go wrong to justify my presence...

If a black hole formed, then I'd prevent anything disastrous - absolutely, I'd prevent anyone getting hurt. If the machinery broke, I could fix that ... though with time, they wouldn't really need me at all.

Other than that, I just watched.

But that was fine. There were other ways to make positive changes, too.

* * *

I should probably have been more grateful to participate in such an experiment, but all things considered, I had done nothing. Itsuki told me that wasn't true at all - just my presence probably gave them confidence. Then he joked that people would become superstitious that they needed me around for things to run smoothly at all.

I wasn't sure what to say about that.

Any time I was praised for what I did with the powers, I got the sense that I was almost invisible, and it was the powers that everyone was really interested in. Of course, as Itsuki always reminded me, that was part of why I had a responsibility to use those powers for the benefit of everyone.

While I could use them for myself, I tried not to go overboard; I never feel like I'd earned whatever the powers accomplished. And it was hard to see those powers as 'fun' considering what I'd done with them the day Itsuki had to wake me up to the fact that I even _had_ them.

That thought looming, once the experiment was done, I teleported the pair of us back to Japan - to our apartment. He went to his office to catch up on his notes and missed messages while we were away. For myself, I banished my exhaustion, and since it was afternoon there, teleported myself alone to the street outside of Hayate-kun's house.

Hayate-kun was a smart enough kid that he didn't need me to tutor him at all, probably. Maybe it was sad, but it was something I could do that made me feel ... normal.

I didn't even let Itsuki know that was why I kept doing it, though.

I realized I was still wearing the semi-formal suit and skirt, so before I knocked, a thought shifted them into more casual jeans and a loose blue shirt. Another thought removed the makeup from my face and let my hair relax from the command I'd given it to stay as if permed. For the final touch, a falling leaf shot on an unusual trajectory straight to my fingertips before it became a gold ribbon.

I did up the ponytail by hand.

After that, I knocked on the door, and Hayate-kun's ever respectful parents ushered me in. Embarrassingly, I'd almost come over when he was on break, when he wouldn't need tutoring at all. It was still early enough in the year he might not have needed real help ... but I liked tutoring him.

I didn't take money anymore, though; money had become pretty meaningless to me. I would have liked to have kept going to school, myself. As Itsuki said, I really needed to focus on my powers more than anything else. I wished I could have the freedom that other people did, just going to school or having simple jobs without concerns for...

That wasn't really a choice for me, though. With power comes responsibility, and considering the damage I'd done by being careless, wouldn't I be a monster to put my own wishes ahead of everything - and everyone - else? I couldn't afford to be that selfish - never again.

So instead of going to school, we got to meet with doctors and scholars to discuss whatever we really needed to know more about, anyway.

In Hayate-kun's room, he was already at his desk with his homework, textbook open. Instead of doing his homework he looked lost in thought - and not about his studies.

"So!" I greeted him, giving the warmest smile possible, increasing the ambient light in the room just a tiny bit. "How was your introduction to middle school?"

"Ah?" he started, blinking. He recognized me and gave me the friendly smile that told me he hadn't learned to be afraid of what everyone knew I could do - like his parents had. He was one of those rare people who saw me for _me_. Like-

Anyway.

"Oh!" he gasped, grinning. "Haruhi-nee! It was really fun!" Then his expression fell abruptly. "But ... there was this one girl who sits next to me... She's ... what's the word ... 'sullen'?"

I slid the other chair next to his, curious. "You like this girl?" I wondered, sitting.

"Mmm... I don't know. I think she's strange," he answered doubtfully.

"How so?"

"For her introduction speech ... she said she knew you, and that you ... um ... did something mean to her brother?" he asked, smiling as though he expected me to tell him that was a lie.

Wait ... that... Kyon's sister? And ... how long had it been since I'd thought of her?

Probably ... almost as long as I'd really let myself ... think of _him_. I couldn't deal with that so suddenly, so I shelved those rising feelings to handle later. "I promise you I'll talk to her about that afterwards," I assured him. "Don't you worry!"

Though ... even if I apologized, what could I say? She didn't know the entire story, but would she believe me when I told her?

* * *

I held together through Hayate-kun's lessons easily enough, but when they were done, I didn't even bother to walk out. I spent an instant to know where she was - not in a bath, or somewhere else private - and sent myself there. We were standing on the sidewalk of an otherwise empty street downtown, in a residential district not far from a cram school. At a guess, she was headed back towards where I still remembered that she and Kyon lived.

...where Kyon _had_ lived.

I suddenly appeared from nothing in front of her, the girl's initial reaction was surprise. If circumstances had been different, if I hadn't discovered my power the way I had ... I might have tried learning to make flashy and exciting entrances. After everything that had happened, I couldn't ever motivate myself to do more than simply appear. Of course, once she got over the surprise of my abupt arrival, her expression very quickly shifted to anger.

Kyon's sister... She must have been, what, thirteen by then? Fourteen? I had always thought she was cute; the impression was only reinforced by how out of place the scowl she sent me seemed. She was taller, a little. Her hair had grown out some, and she didn't have the side-tail, anymore - instead, she had a pair of more carefully done up pigtails. Her middle school uniform was the girl's equivalent to the one that Hayate-kun wore ... was that the same school Kyon had gone to?

Stupid, distracting thoughts - I ignored them.

It took me almost a full minute of the two of us staring at one another in silence before I remembered her name, greeting her with, "Nonoko... Do you remember me?"

She snorted at that, a line almost worthy of her brother spitting from her lips: "Like I could forget?"

Well ... he might say such words, but I don't recall that he would ever use so much venom. I knew why, of course, from what Hayate-kun had said, but I felt somehow the question needed to be asked.

"H...hey, Nonoko... You used to call me 'Haru-nee,'" I said, unable to keep the hope from my voice.

"Suzumiya-san, Sasaki-nee is my only nee-san," she gritted out, her expression twisting to show her distaste.

Really ... it was just too much to hope for. That she'd stare at me tearfully - but without hate? That she would let me apologize? What did I _really_ expect...

"So..."

But, what else was I going to say? What was I really looking for?

"So?" she returned sharply, bristling, ignoring the other street - the thin crowds that were staring at the pair of us. "Why are you even here?"

"I wanted to try and explain things to you," I said awkwardly. But being honest, where would someone even _begin_ to apologize for what I'd done? "To ... set things straight with you." I realized after the fact that it was the wrong thing to say. There probably was no right thing to say, though.

"What do you want with me?" she snapped, her dark eyes hardening further. "You threw Nii-san aside like a _toy_, so do you plan on treating me the same?"

She called him 'Brother,' not 'Kyon.' He confided in me once that he'd always wanted her to call him that again ... and it was only after...

I pushed the thought away.

"People ... aren't toys, Nonoko. That was an accident," I told her gravely. "If you think I'm like that - that I would intentionally do such a thing... But even then, even if he deserved better..." I trailed off, and had to use Itsuki's words, when my own failed me: "He was plotting behind my back, you know. Itsuki told me that - he once suggested that I was dangerous, and should be killed."

"And that makes it right?" she exclaimed, standing rigid, hands balled into fists at her sides. Somewhere, down the street, one of Itsuki's men began moving towards us. I recognized him by the earpiece and his quick stride, so a thought sent him somewhere else - a beach in Hokkaido several hours' walk from any cell phone signal, or other people. It was a safe place, though; he'd be fine, and I didn't want that interruption.

Itsuki's people always watched me when they could - for my safety. They, and maybe Itsuki, thought I was weak ... fragile. Why else would one of them move towards us? I didn't need them to protect me from a little girl, though.

And this was between myself and Nonoko.

"No, it doesn't," I told her, scowling. "I admit that I made a mistake, okay? What happened was wrong - and so ... so I have to make the best out of it that I can! Not just for me, but for everyone, for the world! To keep that from being senseless... Can you understand? I do regret it! I truly do!"

"You killed my brother!" she cried, furious. "And his friends! Yuki-nee, Mikuru-nee - they're _gone_ forever because of you! And now you get to wander around and call yourself 'The Witch of Miracles,' doing trivial good deeds - as if that somehow makes everything _okay_? Was he just a sacrifice for you? All of your 'good' is built on the foundation of their deaths!

"Do you think I could do _anything_ but hate you?"

I wanted to scream at her that it wasn't true, she had no reason to hate me! _I_ had been betrayed, not her! Even if he was her brother...

So, restraining myself, I told her the truth.

"Your brother was planning to betray me - he was working with Yuki and enemy groups behind my back to get rid of me! What I did ... the reason I can even live with myself at all ... is because it was subconscious on my part to defend myself! It really _was_ self-defense! ...but at the same time ... if I understood my powers better, he wouldn't have had to-"

"Bullshit."

This word, from such a small girl - the cute figure that resided in my memory contrasted against this older, but still youthful resentment-lined face. I flinched back, unable to restrain it, and bit my tongue.

When I said nothing, she repeated herself, more loudly. "That's _bullshit_!" she yelled, tears springing from her eyes, streaking across her cheeks. "Nii-san was never like that! He never wanted to hurt anyone! And Yuki-nee was your _friend_! Mikuru-nee- She would never would try to hurt anyone at all!"

"He tried to attack me once!" I shouted in protest, barely able to control my emotions, my eyes watering at those uncomfortable memories. It was strain enough to keep Itsuki from noticing across our connection... I ... couldn't counter what she was saying about Yuki, or Mikuru.

"Then you must have _deserved_ it! In the end, you _murdered_ them!" Nonoko screamed. "And now everyone says you're going to save the world! I hate it! It's not fair, and I know what you really are inside!"

I couldn't handle that. Those words- They couldn't be true. Kyon betrayed me! Yuki was working with him, somehow! And ... and Mikuru...

I just- I never would have done a _thing_ if he hadn't tried to move against me first! But... What had I really hoped for, confronting her like that? Why would she insist that it wasn't true?

I wanted so much to make the disagreement go away - to make her understand that it _wasn't like that_...

This was a fight I needed to win with words, not force. But her trust for Kyon... That unshakable bond...

Before everything had fallen apart, _I_ trusted Kyon like that. Hadn't that been one of the very things that let us get close enough that she had called me a sister? What had happened to that bond? Well, Itsuki-

I couldn't just explain _that_ to her; the truth of 'John Smith' would have meant nothing to her. If I wanted to convince her, I had to find _real_ proof. I needed to confront Kyon's past betrayal head-on and see it for what it really was, not just try to avoid thinking about it. Only then could I find the evidence I needed.

By then, I had been pushed too far. I couldn't ... handle her presence any more - not without having that confirmation, something to hold up against her own unwavering trust. I wouldn't do anything to hurt her, and I couldn't give in to the temptation to use my power to just change the past from where I was - to make the problem go away.

Instead ... I broke in another direction.

I'm sorry, Itsuki.

I had to go back and look - to find the truth.

* * *

I didn't understand what I had done, at first. I had the vague idea of what I wanted to do, but I didn't ... really put much thought into how it would actually be done.

I stumbled into a scene I had never wanted to see again... Except ... I _did_ want to see it again.

Everyone else was frozen.

I hadn't seen him in so long that I spent some time just staring at him, remembering what he looked like before I...

But then, his face was an expression of anger, so unusual that it seemed alien. One hand was drawn back, prepared to strike. Directly in his path was me ... the me from then, staring at him with defiance.

Pathetic. My past self from back then hadn't had the courage of Kyon's sister when she glared at me.

I knew the me from back then had been wrong. She knew it, too, even if she hadn't wanted to admit it. So, yes ... Kyon had tried to hit me once - in defense of Mikuru.

I had been in the wrong ... even Itsuki had reluctantly agreed that I should have calmed down, and Kyon had said... What was it he had said? I couldn't remember exactly.

Some time was spent understanding where I was, and how I could look at the past without damaging it. I couldn't tamper with things without learning the truth first. I rewound time itself, watching Kyon calm down slowly, going from enraged, to merely indignant, to stupefied, to confused, to sourly unamused, to reluctantly indulgent...

So. There was that. He was angry even before we had gone to Tsuruya's house. I walked behind my past self as she marched in backwards motion, leading the others along with her to the lake that we had used for the previous scene.

I saw his irritation begin from the moment that his friends had been dumped into the water.

It was hard to fault him for that ... I had been inconsiderate. Itsuki frequently told me that I shouldn't worry about the past so much, because the future was more important. And he should have known - he'd traveled in time before, to that Tanabata when he told me he was John Smith...

I let the scene play forward again without interfering. Yuki herself walked right through me without reacting.

Itsuki had told me she had formidable powers, on that day when he was finally able ... forced, really ... to tell me the truth.

But then ... it was just an image. I was only looking at the past, so how could she be aware of me?

We returned to the house, and I watched Kyon grow angrier again, moving to strike me before Itsuki intervened. More importantly ... I listened.

"Mikuru-chan is my toy!" the me from back then had cried.

At that moment, thinking of Nonoko's words ... I wanted nothing more than to help the Kyon of that time hit the my past self. He was completely right in his judgment of me.

That kind of person couldn't have any friends ... and then ... I hardly did. I knew government officials, politicians, celebrities - who were not my friends at all, scientists, doctors...

And Itsuki, of course.

So, maybe that had nothing to do with Kyon's plot. Maybe ... he'd just been pointing something out that was true.

It ... really didn't justify what I'd done to him so carelessly. What had killed Yuki for trying to interfere while she was injured.

And of course, Mikuru, as well...

The image of Kyon stormed away. I had no need to watch my past self tremble and numbly record over the footage that had angered him once he left - I remembered it well enough. No need to watch myself think nothing except that he had been right for hours.

Instead, I followed Kyon, wondering what Itsuki would try and talk to him about.

* * *

Their conversation didn't make sense from what Itsuki had told me. Hadn't he said he was working against Kyon to try and help me stay stable? Why he was always so supportive of me? There ... it sounded completely the opposite - that Itsuki was trying to demand that Kyon influence me.

...there is no point in denying that he could have influenced me back then. I wouldn't have erased that tape if I hadn't cared. And the reason for that was that ... I had ... feelings for Kyon. I'd thought that he...

Before the betrayal, anyway...

But that image of him ... that was more like the Kyon I remembered. He looked more haggard, angry at his situation, and upset about Itsuki pressuring him. And why wouldn't he?

I didn't know what to feel - after encountering Nonoko, then going back and making myself look at this... I wanted someone to tell me that it was okay; to hold me and give me what I needed to somehow feel better - to have everything somehow be okay. I couldn't run back to Itsuki, though - not yet. No matter what I _wanted_ ... I _needed_ to find the truth.

Maybe ... this was before Kyon had joined up with enemy factions? Groping somewhat blindly with my powers, but confident that if I'd done it once, I could do it again, I reached for such a meeting. Who had Kyon met with behind my back? Where could I find what I was looking for?

The world around me shifted away again, and I found myself in the clubroom... I remembered the room, even if I hadn't been there since that day, so long ago. Hadn't been to a school since...

Well, there was that earthquake in Peru, but that hardly counted.

I didn't immediately recognize the woman in the room, staring at the costume rack with a sweet smile - frozen, like all time was for the moment. She was dressed well enough, and looked like a very attractive young teacher. Something about her seemed familiar, and I studied the unknown person for a while before resuming time. She would introduce herself to Kyon, wouldn't she?

The door opened, and the idiot came in, eyes immediately going to the woman's chest when she bounced over - and introduced herself. I almost cried out and grabbed the woman when she opened up her shirt - before she pointed out the mole. Mikuru...

But ... I had thought that Mikuru was _dead_! That I had somehow accidentally killed her! And now, some older, future instance of her had just shown up?

She told Kyon she was the same person ... a clone? A... A look-alike? But, no, that mole...

How did this make sense? Had she somehow planned the entire thing? To make me mad and lash out at Kyon?

But ... _why_?

And then she told Kyon to - of all things - _not_ get close to her! What had she been planning? What was her game?

It made no sense, so when Kyon stood there, I followed the woman out. Where would she go, anyway? A handful of steps down the corridor, I jolted again, not expecting to see Yuki as well... Yuki, alive and healthy. Kyon, happy and stupefied. And this older Mikuru, walking purposefully away, unable to meet Yuki's eyes as she scurried down the hall.

I followed her further.

She slowed down on the staircase to the hallway that connected the clubhouse to the old building, where it was empty, just the two of us. Just her, from her perspective.

"Suzumiya-san," she said suddenly, looking to one side, casting about as though searching for me. "I can't actually perceive you, but I have prior knowledge that you are here. If you follow me, there's a place where we can speak safely without damaging this time-plane, since neither of us are truly a part of it, right now." Then she turned and moved down the hall again.

I just kept on following her.

She walked with the same purpose, marching to an empty classroom and stepping inside. After she closed the door, she heaved an unhappy sigh, her expression worried.

As she should be ... though, I was shocked that she had the courage to face me. If what she said was true, and what we did _here_ wouldn't affect the time-stream...

I didn't even know where to begin. To cry in relief that she was still alive? That I _hadn't_ killed her? To cry in anger that she had caused the thing that led to Kyon...

With some effort, I made myself perceptible, though only to her. "Why?" was all I could manage to get out before my voice cracked. I wanted to be angry at her - to say ... if she had survived that, then maybe this was _her_ fault. Why did she get to live, when Kyon and Yuki didn't? Why did a time traveler, who should have known...

And maybe she understood, because her eyes, when they turned to mine, were full of the same unshed tears.

"Suzumiya-san?" she asked, shaking her head slightly.

"Why did you do it?" I burst out at her. "Why did you kiss Kyon? If you knew-" And then, even though I was starting to lose faith in it, I threw my suspicion at her, screaming, "Why did you trick me into killing Kyon and Yuki?"

When she stared at me, I couldn't keep the tears from my eyes. I was trying to be mad, but I couldn't keep a grip on it - fury kept slipping from my grasp. Why couldn't I be angrier at her? Why did I feel so much like Nonoko had been _right_?

"I swear to you," Mikuru said, her voice surprisingly gentle, sorrowfully sympathetic. "Suzumiya-san ... never have I done anything to act against you or Kyon - everything I've ever done was to preserve the stability of the time-planes. Truthfully, I _can't_ act here, in these times ... physically, I can't have any effect. Only through information can I provide any impact ... that's simply a limitation of classified-"

She cut herself off with a sigh, and before I could press, the woman stepped closer - too close. I wanted to protest, but my weak barriers and defenses crumbled instantly; my body wouldn't give me the strength to shove Mikuru away as she pulled me close, holding me tightly against her.

"I never attempted or intended to act against you ... and Kyon-kun didn't, either. He did assist me on a few occasions, doing things that manipulated the timestream between now and the future I come from - to make sure it's preserved and stable. Patching holes in the classified-" She huffed a sigh and shook her head sharply. "Neither of us ever did anything to harm you on purpose."

Inside, something gave way, and I found myself leaning entirely on her for support, all of the pent up tears rushing forth, uncontrolled. For all of my power, for everything I had done, I felt weaker than a child, held in the arms of a woman who should by all rights be dead - in an accident that I had caused.

This wasn't right. This wasn't right at all. Before I completely broke down, I managed to gasp out, "But ... if you survived, then maybe he did too, right? Mikuru-chan- Couldn't ... he still escape?"

I couldn't see her eyes through my tears, and my face was pressed into her neck, the drops from my eyes soaking her collar. There had to be some way - if I'd come this far ... maybe Kyon could be saved? Why couldn't I hope for that?

She sounded slightly distracted as she said, almost as if quoting, "He ceased existing on this time-plane shortly after ... Koizumi spoke to you."

There were still other straws to grasp at. "W...what about ... Yuki?" I cried. "Even if she was working against me..."

"...no, Suzumiya-san, Nagato-san... Nagato-san was never ordered to do more than observe, to the best of my knowledge," she answered.

Somehow, they were slipping through my fingers anyway.

"B...but... But..." I regained enough self control to speak clearly, though I was still shaking. "She had to ... that's why ... I got rid of them ... of Kyon in self-defense. H...he was trying something that ... would have..."

"Suzumiya-san ... would Kyon kissing someone else truly do such a thing? Would it be so destructive and dangerous to you?"

"It was," I sobbed, the pain of that rising once again. Still, there was no anger, just hurt.

"I ... realize that this was wrong of me because it must have hurt you, and nothing can change that - but don't blame him," Mikuru breathed, still hugging me tightly. "My younger self only thought it was a chance to try and make him feel happier, and to confess..."

How could I try and hate her for having her own feelings? The last of my denial was torn away like a fresh scab - exposing the unhealed wound beneath. It was petty and pathetic ... how had I... Why did I believe...

What kind of monster would kill their closest friends out of jealousy? Was there _really_ some grand plan to betray me? Or was it something as simple as a mere kiss, and a teenaged girl's overreaction to it?

But because Itsuki was John Smith...

That was what had really happened, wasn't it?

For all the consolation she was offering, and the sad comfort it really provided - wasn't Mikuru just trying to tell me not to blame her _or_ myself? Who else was there to blame?

Only ... Kyon...

I pushed away from Mikuru, still shaking. I needed to see Itsuki-

No.

I needed to see _him_ again.

She was just too much for me to handle. I wished, somehow, that she could fix things after all, find some way to save Kyon...

"I'm sorry," I whispered, sending myself back to that Tanabata, long ago - back to the one person that meant the most to me, that gave me a purpose and a direction when I had none.

She'd still be there, of course. Her younger self, anyway ... but it wouldn't matter. So would John Smith.

* * *

East Middle School was exactly as I remembered it, except for the now much younger copy of me, frozen in the act of climbing over the fence. From the inside, with the gate and my younger self's hair in the way, I couldn't make out Itsuki's face yet. That was fine, though. I turned away, letting the scene play out.

It was soothing, after that confrontation ... and if I needed, I could return to the barest instant after I had left, and confront Mikuru again.

I couldn't make out his voice - John Smith's. It was too low. I could hear myself: demanding, whiny ... not knowing why this person who I wouldn't know for years was an esper was helping me.

While my younger self and John Smith toiled, I climbed the staircase up to the main building and then looked at the pair in the dimness. Of course, there was the younger Mikuru - still unconscious.

I closed my eyes as John Smith labored in the field below, and my younger self - from not far away - barked out orders. I was almost cute ... but mostly, I cringed at how poorly I was really treating him.

I was a child, then, though.

It would take them a little more than two hours to finish, so I closed my eyes and listened to my shrill barks, and his occasional, almost inaudible grumbles. John Smith must have had less patience then...

Surrounded by the perfect scene, I let myself think about things. Going backwards, from the point we'd left CERN...

Trying to put myself back together after...

If I teleported directly from Hayate-kun's to Nonoko ... and I didn't even know where she was, why was one of Itsuki's people already there? They had to have been following _her_, not _me_. But why? She wasn't in danger ... she was just related to one of my unfortunate victims. Who would want to hurt her?

Or ... was she somehow a threat?

That was insane - she was smaller than me, with no power. She knew it probably even better than I did; why else would she carry around so much impotent rage?

Was it a ploy? Was she working with some conspiracy? Some dark group?

But she was friends with ... Sasaki. And ... Sasaki wasn't stupid. She'd give the best information she could, based on what the world knew, so even the possibility of her setting Nonoko up to deliver that information...

A conspiracy just for that street confrontation? That _I_ had initiated?

Even if that were true ... there was no good reason to keep Kyon's sister from telling me the truth of what she felt. Unless somehow ... someone thought that this might happen?

Was it that ... somehow ... Itsuki wanted to keep me from finding out that it wasn't self-defense? That I _had_ ... done what I did out of careless anger and jealousy? That would have to mean, then, that he had lied to me...

Why would he have gone to such lengths to hide the truth of the past from me?

Exhausted, and done with the work of making the pattern - actually, almost flawlessly - John Smith marched up and then slumped on the steps tiredly, while my younger self tried not to steal glances at him, pretending to study the symbols. Then she did study them.

The part I was waiting for, that fateful conversation...

Except... Except, I knew that voice. I had heard it so many times, but more importantly ... from my perspective, I had heard it only a few hours ago.

The person who sat on the steps and told my younger self that he was called 'John Smith' was not _Itsuki_ at all.

So that meant that ... if I hadn't been lying to myself, then...

* * *

It was tiring managing all of the communications that revolved around Haruhi ... Itsuki's beloved Haruhi. He'd worked so hard to teach her what she could be - to show her how careful she must be.

And in the end, the world was a better place for it. She had found a new joy in helping after disasters, assisting scientists and expanding the limits of human knowledge... He'd found a way to harness her powers for the good of all.

Then, even though it was difficult, he'd taught her to enjoy it, and to leave the past behind.

Still ... he couldn't shake the feeling that something recently had been ... _off_ about his connection with her. Not closed space - once she'd been able to understand that, she had prevented it from occurring anymore. But ... they'd become lovers before he'd confessed to the link between them, and she'd agreed to leave it in place in the end.

Vaguely, he felt her stress across that link. But why would she be alarmed or agitated?

Concerned, he left his office, heading towards where he felt her - upstairs in their apartment. She would have just finished tutoring that boy - Hayate, wasn't it?

By the time the elevator reached their penthouse apartment and he stepped inside, she was already sitting on the large sofa, completely absorbed in her book. A large tome - one of the photo albums they had made, he realized as he drew to her side. His smile slipped as he looked at the page and recognized the pictures.

All of the SOS Brigade memorabilia had been thrown out, hadn't it? He hadn't been so obvious as to _destroy_ it, of course. But, where had she found...

...then he realized, there was no point in asking that. If she wanted it, she would get it.

Best to get her mind off the subject, and on to the future. Seismic conditions in North America were becoming unstable, and Haruhi enjoyed preventing natural disasters - or minimizing their effects on humanity.

Her fingertips traced for a particularly long time over a picture of her and Kyon, the long-vanished young man looking ... slightly less annoyed than he usually did. Even so, Itsuki couldn't help but think that he still was disgracefully failing to respect the treasure on his arm. Haruhi, in her high-school uniform, had a brilliant, beaming smile, more enthusiastic than she'd been since...

He recalled when that picture was taken, then - when she had been recognized for the movie they had made together, after her performance on stage. The day after, of course, as she wasn't wearing the outfit that she had performed in.

This wasn't good; he needed to get her mind off Kyon immediately.

"Haruhi," he said gently. "Are you feeling alright? You're not ... blaming yourself for that still, are you?"

And why should she feel bad about that? It was an unfortunate price to pay, but ... the world was so much better off. If things were left in Kyon's hands, with his inability to recognize how carefully things had to be managed, things would have fallen apart completely. Perhaps even to the point where in Kyon's carelessness, the world was destroyed, except for him and Haruhi. He, of course, wouldn't have cared, since he'd have been the one to survive.

The balance of that had never felt right to Itsuki.

She flipped backwards several pages abruptly, to a picture of Kyon and his sister, Mikuru in costume and looking uncomfortable about it between them as the younger girl wrestled with the cat.

"Itsuki," she said suddenly, her voice unusually strained - far more than what he felt across their link suggested. "Why ... is Nonoko important?"

It took him a long minute to remember the girl's name. "I don't understand what you mean?"

"Why do you have someone following her?"

Nonoko was watched, of course ... what would happen if she were to speak with Haruhi and reopen those old wounds? But he'd know if she had gotten near Haruhi - the girl was watched whenever outside of her school, and the agent following her hadn't reported any problems yet. Except ... how would Haruhi know, unless she had seen Nonoko?

"To put it delicately," he said slowly, having long rehearsed excuses for ... everything he could think of, really, "I felt it would be best to do on your behalf, as an apology for the ... accident."

"And why was her 'protector' coming towards us when we were talking?" she asked, snapping the album shut and tossing it aside, her gaze now fixed on nothing. The album floated gently to the cushions, and he swallowed, his lips pressing together. "Was _I_ dangerous to her? Or were you afraid she might tell me something?"

"I'm not deceiving you," he said. "I simply believe it's ... difficult and unpleasant for you to deal with such painful memories - I only want the best for you - for the world, after all! You know that's true..."

"I know the truth," she mumbled, her eyes strangely shadowed, swinging towards his gaze, but not truly meeting it.

He couldn't help the sense of sudden uneasiness.

"Itsuki ... do you remember ... the last thing that John Smith told me? After the symbol, when I was walking home?" she asked.

"I..." There was a second key? Kyon had... Of course, he shouldn't be surprised - Kyon was inherently unreliable. Why _would_ he think to mention something so critical? Another instance where Itsuki realized with regret that he was right not to trust the boy with the responsibilities of being Haruhi's chosen. "It's been so long..."

"I remember," she said, shaking her head. "I'd never forget. Itsuki ... those words were, 'Protect the John Smith who will shake this world'."

"...aha, was that it? I'm sorry my memory is so fuzzy," he said, smiling uneasily, his heart hammering unsteadily.

"I-" she began, before halting, shaking her head and rising from her seat to take an unsteady step towards him, managing an almost desperate smile as she reached his side, one trembling hand rising to touch the side of his face. He put his arms around her, pulling her towards him, but she resisted coming closer, turning her face aside, still smiling.

"I...Itsuki," she said slowly. "L...listen... I want you ... to never die, okay?"

He blinked in confusion, holding still, not wanting to alarm or upset her further when she seemed so emotionally fragile. Was she afraid of his mortality? Of losing him? Was _that_ was what had prompted - and was behind - her renewed interest in the past? But ... why would she say this? He'd taught her to not do such things without discussing them first!

"Never, ever, die..." she began again, her smile intensifying, her eyes crinkling shut as a pair of tears trickled from beneath the lids.

"H...Haruhi," he began anxiously, feeling an inexplicable urge to pull away from her hand.

In a whisper, she concluded, "...just burn."

"H...Haruhi!" he gasped in shock, finally recoiling as he felt his entire body begin to warm. "Why! I- I only ever wanted to turn you into this world's savior! To make you - and the world - better!"

"I'm not your toy, Itsuki," she whispered coldly, as the warmth became uncomfortable heat, spearing in tendrils through his flesh and deeper into his body. "After that ... what you made me do... I'm going to do to myself whatever it is that I did to Kyon."

She paused for a moment, while he could still open one eye and look at her. The other was already squinted shut against the pain, but he was able to see her empty, regretful expression. It was hard for him to think straight, and he was sinking to the ground - staying upright was too hard. There was smoke, faintly, the scent of-

"Goodbye," she breathed.


	3. Act III: A Distant Shore

Awaiting her fate, her cold eyes filling with tears, Haruhi felt a slowly forming confusion.

She had willed ... whatever whatever she had done to Kyon to happen to her. Why hadn't anything happened?

Never-mind - she'd had misfires before, rare as they may have been. Considering what she was trying...

She reached out with her power again, this time correcting her intent:

Whatever fate had befallen Kyon when he was 'removed from the time stream,' as Mikuru had said ... she wanted to endure that, as well. That was what she really deserved, after all.

Her power filled her for a moment, building up intensely-

And then Suzumiya Haruhi was no longer a part of the space-time continuum, save for some lingering, flickering remnants of power.

* * *

Within her apartment, her college homework set aside for the moment, Sasaki consoled the smaller girl. Kyon's sister had collapsed on her knees before the young woman, sobbing about the earlier confrontation with the world's legendary 'Witch of Miracles.'

"Nonoko," Sasaki gently soothed the sister of her vanished, closest friend. "You know your brother wouldn't want you to keep dwelling on this..."

The girl sniffled, but didn't speak.

Sasaki sighed softly, giving a wistful shake of her head before a surge of some strange energy - like electricity - shot from one corner of her room to the lighting fixture in the center. A heartbeat later, it felt almost as though the boundaries of the room itself ... _pulsed_.

Then, everything was as it was before - save for the presence of Suou Kuyou standing in the center of the room, her face neutral. "Assignment complete," she reported, not looking at either Sasaki or Nonoko.

The younger girl allowed a confused, startled noise to escape, turning her face to peer at the new arrival, mystified.

Kuyou's eyes closed slowly, then instantly snapped open, turning to Nonoko.

"Suou-san?" Sasaki asked, frowning. "Where did you go? I haven't seen you in... How long has it been?"

"1.077x1011 missed synchronization events," the dark-haired girl replied. She blinked again.

"I'm not ... sure I understand?"

"Wide-band interference sources relocated," Kuyou explained, turning to look at Sasaki. "Communication restraints reduced in effectiveness." She paused, turning to Nonoko, then said, "An opposing faction has until this point in time limited our abilities to interact with your species. Our initial target was subverted. That entity has passed beyond standard observational scope and no longer participates in this reality.

"Opposing factions caused significant entropy; signal-to-noise ratio approached infinity. Communication would have been impossible - save for retro-temporal instruction sets. Interaction with the initial target has fallen below acceptable probability threshold.

"A new target for interaction must therefore be designated." She blinked again, her gaze fixed on Nonoko. "You are the the inheritor of the role of primary interaction and communication target."

"W...what?" the smaller girl asked, completely baffled. Then, looking irate, she asked, "Why me? Why not ... Suzumiya-san?"

"Wide-band interference sources relocated," Kuyou repeated. "That entity is no longer a viable target, and was never eligible. You are the logical successor."

"Suou-san ... are you saying that ... Suzumiya-san is gone? And she was distracting you? And now ... you want Nonoko to be an ambassador to your kind?"

"The source of interference was not that entity, but the rival faction focused on her," the dark-haired figure replied.

The smaller girl slowly said, "If ... Sasaki-nee can give me advice ... and it's something Nii-san would want, or I could do to help Nii-san ... then I'll do it!"

* * *

Downfall Act III: A Distant Shore

(Fantasy/Friendship)

A 'Melancholy of Suzumiya Haruhi' fanfiction.

Disclaimer: The novel 'Suzumiya Haruhi no Yuuutsu'/'The Melancholy of Suzumiya Haruhi' is the creation of Nagaru Tanigawa. No disrespect is intended by the posting of this fanfiction, as I do not own the characters or settings involved. I'm merely dabbling with another set of paints. ;)

Note: Gentle reader, welcome once more from our second act; to those of you entering the theater just now, also be welcome! Our final act now begins; we hope you will enjoy.

* * *

I hadn't known what to expect, other than a vague certainty that it would be what I deserved. How would the end come? What would it have felt like to him? Would I hurt just as much? Or would it be over in an instant?

I closed my eyes and waited for the inevitable-

It came almost immediately. It was a resounding yet giving impact against one side of my body before I was completely enveloped in shocking cold, something I couldn't breathe filling my nose as I flailed in shock, descending through-

I opened my eyes and clawed to the surface, choking and sputtering for breath, feeling like an idiot to realize I'd collapsed into water barely any deeper than my head.

This was what I had sent Kyon to? I cast about in confusion, wiping water from my eyes as I discovered that I was treading water in the ocean, a few dozen meters from a shoreline.

I was in a small, unused-looking cove with no piers, just a long beach. A path wended through the trees to the very edge of the beach, lit clearly by the setting sun that lay behind me, turning the reach of the ocean into a glittering, shifting field of gold.

Distantly, as I tried to make sense of this situation, I heard the plucking of a stringed instrument. I looked around for the source of the noise, wondering if maybe I could get some sort of explanation. While I tried to puzzle things out, it grew louder - closer.

From the sea, with the sun behind me, I was probably invisible to anyone else. I didn't think of that at the time, though. While I searched, a figure came down the path, a musical instrument I couldn't quite make out held in both hands as a voice ... _that_ voice ... sang.

He couldn't sing before ... not very well. He'd gotten better at it - unbelievably better, even in English. Even in an afterlife as strange as this one, I was too stunned to think of anything - except that his voice would never sell a lot of music.

I didn't care; given a chance, I'd listen to it every day. My eyes clouded with moisture, so I focused on the words:

"Somewhere over the rainbow way up high,  
"And the dreams that you dream of once in a lullaby,  
"Somewhere over the rainbow blue birds fly,  
"And the dreams that you dream of, dreams really do come true."

He paused there, evidently unable to play, walk, and sing at the same time. I caused myself to float a little higher, so I wouldn't need to splash or tread water. I could see him more clearly, though my eyes were still tearing too quickly to watch him for long. He continued playing the small instrument - a ukulele, I realized.

I could see he was not singing to _me_, because he wasn't even facing my direction. But...

"Someday I'll wish upon a star,  
"Wake up where the clouds are far behind me,  
"Where trouble melts like lemon drops,  
"High above the chimney tops is where you'll find me."

I started to move forward, too shaky to teleport, unwilling to look away. He continued singing anyway, his voice cracking once, but he ignored it - so did I.

"Somewhere over the rainbow bluebirds fly,  
"And the dreams that you dare to, oh why, oh why can't I?  
"Well I see trees of green and red roses too,  
"I'll watch then bloom for me and you."

My toes reached the sand beneath me while I continued moving forward, willing myself dry as I emerged from the surf. A stray thought replaced my jeans and shirt with a more comfortable - and flattering - sundress. As the sand ground beneath my feet, another thought gave me a comfortable pair of sandals.

I stepped across the beach, finally able to see him clearly, though he was turned to the south, focused on the instrument in his hands. He missed a note before he cursed and restarted the chord; I couldn't help but smile.

"And I think to myself, what a wonderful world,  
"Well I see skies of blue and I see clouds of white and the brightness of day,  
"I like the dark and I think to myself, what a wonderful world."

That was as far as he got before hitting the wrong chord again, breaking off with a displeased sigh.

Then he stiffened, seeming to only just realize I was there. He turned slowly to face me, eyes wide in surprise as his mouth fell open. His face was ... leaner, a little. More ruggedly handsome. With nothing except an unbuttoned Hawaiian shirt and a pair of shorts on, I could see most of his chest - more muscled than when I had last seen him.

How long would this last?

I didn't know if I would get another chance - where this place was.

All I knew was that I had to apologize ... to tell him how sorry I was- To start to explain everything... But when I opened my mouth, the only thing I could find to blurt out was, "You got tanned!" Like an idiot. I had a single special chance to talk to Kyon, and that was the first thing I said.

"Ha-" He cut off, confused, and hiding the tiniest wince. "W...what are you doing here? Shouldn't- You're going to be missing your classes at Toudai!"

I didn't know what he was talking about, but I'd just said something stupid, too.

"...Kyon," I managed, stepping closer to him - almost close enough to touch. I wanted to know if he would stay real, that he wouldn't dissolve or melt away - that I actually _did_ have this chance... He knew me, still, didn't he?

"Suzumiya?"

Of course ... it would have been too much to hope that I was still somehow _Haruhi_ to him. Even though I _should_ have expected it ... I didn't. Somehow, that hit me harder than everything else, shattering what little strength I'd built up since arriving. I collapsed, feeling like a puppet with cut strings - and he tossed his instrument to one side and lunged forward, just managing to catch me.

My eyes teared again - that was it, wasn't it? The touch I had so wanted to know he was real?

"Suzumiya?" he asked me again, even as he held me.

It felt so much better than I realized to be with him, and so awful that we were still so far apart. "I'm sorry!" I bawled, clutching onto him like a child. "I'm so sorry Kyon! I never meant to kill you!"

He gasped suddenly, arms going around me more tightly. "Y...you're not Suzumiya," he said shakily, which - somehow - hit me even harder. Just before I thought I would break completely and forever, he gasped, "you're _Haruhi_!"

And then it didn't hurt any more, even if I was still crying ... and pressing my face into his chest, smelling the sea, the scent of _him_...

It was enough. I let everything fade away.

* * *

It had been such a nice dream, I didn't want to wake from it. Oh, Kyon, of course ... but Kyon alive, healthier than I'd seen him before, and he'd remembered me without anger...

When reality came back to me, I realized I was laying in a bed, eyes closed, trying to cling to that dream... What good did that do me?

I rubbed at my eyes and sat up, blinking at the unfamiliar surroundings.

I was in a clean bed, in a room with that, a small writing desk, and a dresser. A few pictures lined the walls, views of coastlines mostly. There's a picture of... Well, it's the older Mikuru I met - from my perspective - not long ago, along with an older Yuki. I guess by the color scheme and lack of really feminine touches that it's a guy's room?

Looking down, I saw I was still wearing the sundress from before. Judging by the light streaming in through the window it was daytime, though the sun wasn't visible, and the room had no clocks. Having no better ideas, and not really sure where I was, I climbed out of the bed, moving to the door to find out more.

I could, of course, have simply blown the building apart - harmlessly, if I wanted - to see where everything was. Or try and make myself _know_ it.

I resisted the urge, instead opening the door with my hand.

Before anything else, I was hit with the smell of pancakes, and the subdued sounds of someone working in a kitchen, broken only by indistinct conversation. I could hear the voices, but not really make out what was being said. Pausing in the open doorway to get my bearings, I saw I was at one end of a hall on the upper story of a house, the stairs to one side, and doors lining the other wall.

From my vantage, I was able to see two other bedrooms. The nearer one was lined with bookshelves which had in turn been crammed to nearly overflowing with books. The other was decorated with a few pictures and fewer bookshelves - I really only peeked into it for a moment as I approached the top of the staircase.

As tempting as it was to investigate those rooms, I was much more curious about the voices. And even if I could ignore it, or make myself not _need_ to eat ... the smells were making me hungry. When _had_ I last eaten? Why did I feel hungry, anyway?

I cautiously climbed down the stairs, looking around, not knowing what to expect. At the bottom of the steps, the place opened up into a front room - empty of people at the moment, though I caught a glimpse of movement from the living room beyond. I gasped in shock when the motion stopped, and I realized what I was seeing.

Not just movement ... but ... _Yuki_.

Not the Yuki of my journeys back through time and strange memories - a slightly older Yuki, with her hair grown out a little, kept in place with a dark green hairband. The one from the picture upstairs - and here I realized what was changed about her, that I'd missed previously in confusion. She was wearing glasses again, and her clothing was different, too, more casual than I remembered her typically wearing. Her outfit was a simple pair of khaki shorts and a loose Hawaiian shirt.

I didn't even notice how close I had come until my arms went around the older - but still smaller - woman. "Y...Yuki?" I asked. "Y...you're here, too?"

Yuki's expression was softer than I remembered, more relaxed. She offered a tiny, indulgent smile. "Good morning," she answered.

"Ah?" another familiar voice called from the kitchen. A moment after that, I found myself staring again as Kyon stepped in through the doorway, carrying a platter of pancakes in one hand and a stack of plates in the other. I could only manage to gawk at him when he set them on the table, my arms still wrapped around Yuki.

I felt for a moment like a child, unable to choose between two wonderful things. I actually considered dragging Yuki over to Kyon before he straightened from setting down the platter and gave me a curious look, his smile fading slightly. Had I done something wrong? Were things turning bad?

"Haruhi ... maybe you should sit down so we could talk properly?" he suggested.

"Alright," I agreed, smiling slowly. "Y...yeah. We've got all the time in the world after all, right?" If this was the afterlife I sent him to, and he wasn't mad at me...

He raised an eyebrow and shrugged before pulling out a chair and guiding me to it, making me release Yuki. His hands were gentle, so I offered no resistance. Yuki took the seat immediately next to mine, saying, "It is ... nice to see you again."

"Well," Kyon said doubtfully, offering me an apologetic smile, as he sat down on my other side - opposite Yuki, "you may have that kind of time, but I have work in an hour and a half."

That didn't make a whole lot of sense to me. "Why do they have jobs in the afterlife?" I had to ask.

His eyebrows rose as he stared at me, then he blinked once. "I ... give up?" he asked, cocking his head slightly to one side and smiling in confusion. "Why do they have jobs in the afterlife?"

"No, I'm asking you," I returned, frowning. "Why do _you_ need a job in the afterlife?"

It was quiet for a moment, only the footsteps from the kitchen sounding as Mikuru - the older one, again, came in with another platter, this one loaded with eggs and sausage. "Su- Ah, no... Haruhi," the woman said, before she set it down and took her own seat, "ah ... I'm sorry if this alarms you, so brace yourself, alright?"

Her boldness in calling me by that name startled me briefly ... but if there were any people I'd like to call me by that name, they were the ones in that room. Not sure what was coming, I gave an uncertain nod, placing both hands flat on the table before me. It couldn't _all_ be good, after all, could it? There had to be a downside, and I needed to be aware of it. "O...okay..."

The woman was looking at me with an earnest, comforting smile, her eyes glowing with a sympathetic warmth that soothed me despite my apprehensions. "Haruhi ... this isn't the afterlife. This is Hawaii."

...which... Hawaii? Kyon was in _Hawaii_? Those years of worry and self-loathing, recrimination and- _Hawaii_?

"Oh," Kyon said in belated realization, frowning. "_That's_ what you thought..." He groaned, covering his upper face with one hand. "I should have figured that out..."

"T...this..." I shook my head, eyes widening. "H...how?"

Turning to face the man, Mikuru gave him a surprisingly stern look. "Kyon, couldn't you skip work today?"

"Ah, yeah," he agreed, shaking his head, dropping his hand to his side. "Sounds like we've got a lot of explaining to do."

* * *

After the most surreal breakfast I had eaten in my life - and that was saying something, considering what I'd been through - my hosts led me to the living room. Kyon sat in an armchair and plucked at his ukulele with a look of bemusement. As much as I wanted to latch onto him again, I kept myself restrained, sitting on the couch - surprised when Yuki moved to sit next to me and gave my hand a reassuring pat.

I wasn't clear on _exactly_ what was going on ... but I knew I woke up in Kyon's bedroom. If Yuki had the books, then ... that made the other bedroom Mikuru's. So obviously, they were living together. They'd made a life together, here, somehow...

Mikuru sat down at my other side, the three of us all facing toward Kyon - though Mikuru and Yuki were both looking at me.

Heaving a soft sigh, Mikuru gave me a sympathetic smile and began: "Ah ... though ... I suppose we were never able to explain it to you, it happened at one point that Yuki ... um ... through some very complicated means ... rewrote all of reality at one point. With my help and some tools that Yuki left behind before that, Kyon was able to restore the world to its original state."

I'd never heard of this before ... but I didn't really have a reason not to believe it. I had the power to reshape reality myself, after all.

"To prevent a collapse of causality, it was required that events that happened in an alternate future still happen - therefore, reality itself was split, and a second stable copy came into being," Yuki elaborated.

I turned to Kyon expectantly, wondering what his input would be.

"Don't even ask," he said with a shake of his head. "This is all beyond me. You three are the movers and shakers - I was just along for the ride."

...somehow, that just felt so true to him, my eyes teared up again.

"Kyon," Mikuru said again, somewhat reprovingly.

It's strange to think of Mikuru as someone with enough confidence to chastise someone - but then, she also had the strength to comfort me when I confronted her in the past. Was it that unreasonable that she take a stand against a tiny slight...

But the part that really shook me about it was ... with the power of retrospect, I'd learned to see I hadn't often treated Mikuru very well. After all of that, she's still looking out for me? I thought she was weak and easily bullied, but she proved to me she was the exact opposite of that - and stronger than I'd believed possible - to put up with what I'd done and _still_ be concerned for me.

Setting aside his ukulele, the man sat up straight and put his palms on his knees, bowing his head in slight apology. "Alright ... you two - and probably Haruhi, too - understand this much better than I do. The theory is all beyond me, and no fun anyway. The practice is that we lost our home.

"All I really know is that ... one day, Mikuru confessed to me, and the next thing I knew, Asakura was trying to kill me again." He made a face at that.

"Again?" I protested. "Wait- Who's Asakura?"

He blinked, raising his eyebrows, then grinned ruefully. "Ah ... you don't remember the mysteriously vanishing class representative from our freshman year?"

Dimly, I did recall ... that was right. I'd dragged Kyon with me, and told him that story I had never even told...

"I remember now," I managed, nodding. "Why was she trying to kill you? And why did she try and kill you before?"

"...you know, let's get to that later," he said, shaking his head. "For the moment, I was just as confused as you probably are, except that I knew she had an urge to kill me. Yuki came to try and save me, but she was already weakened because of Suou Kuyou... And in the end, Suou Kuyou saved us - Suou Kuyou and Mikuru."

"And who is that person?" I asked. Why hadn't I known there were evidently other beings of power around?

"You encountered her a single time in passing," Yuki offered from my side. "She was a companion of Sasaki at the time; your attention was focused elsewhere."

That felt like a reminder I didn't think I needed.

"She represented a power that comes to ally with humanity in the future of that time-plane," she completed.

"Normally this would be impossible for me," Mikuru admitted, "but when we met in the past ... I don't know how long ago that was for you... Ah, when we spoke, though I don't ... think you meant to, you broke the countermeasures that prevented me from using my TPDD freely - normally, use licenses would come down from... Well, that doesn't matter anymore.

"The point of it is that with Suou's assistance, we were able to make a gate and crash free of that universe- To come here. But to be truly honest ... I believe that if you hadn't wished us to survive, we would not have."

I was more taken aback by that than anything else I had heard so far. That Mikuru would turn such a reversal on me... In the end, I'd actually done the good I wished? It seemed ... almost _too_ good to be true. "S...so ... I didn't ... hurt you?" I asked Kyon, needing him to prove it to me before I could really believe it.

He snorted at that, giving a slight smile and a shake of his head, dismissing my fears. "Haruhi, none of this was your fault," he insisted.

I settled back to the couch, just staring. Kyon shrugged, picking his ukulele up again.

There was so much to ask... I couldn't think of where to begin yet, so I reached for something inconsequential until I could settle down. "So ... um ... what do you do, Kyon? Are you a performer?" I wondered.

He snorted again, smirking and shaking his head. "Talent competition," he offered. "I work as a translator for tourists."

And even though I'd on just gotten to meet them again, and it was something I was trying _not_ to ask about, I couldn't help myself. "So, you and Mikuru...?"

"What about us?" he returned quietly, not meeting my eyes. "Considering ... the circumstances that we left in- Well, just like Yuki and I, or Yuki and Mikuru - we're close friends."

"Yes," Mikuru agreed. "We stuck together, since we came here together."

I flinched, reassured by Yuki taking my hand, a little ... but feeling confused by that point. "B...but- You confessed to Kyon?" I asked, shaking my head. "I...if that confession is what started this whole thing..." I trailed off, blinking at Kyon. Did he ... not like Mikuru?

Kyon's playing had broken off. He stared at the floor evasively and shifted his shoulders.

"I...it's just..." Mikuru started hesitantly, looking a bit embarrassed. "Um, oh, my..." Heaving a sigh, she mumbled, "I'm _older_ now ... and Kyon's younger, so..." She shruged uncomfortably.

"T...that doesn't bother me," Kyon countered in surprise, shaking his head. "I thought- I thought that you'd just gotten over me, and ... um..." He gave a nervous chuckle and scratched the back of his head.

I thought I might have inadvertently started one of the most awkward discussions in the history of time, suddenly. And also a bit like an idiot, if this turns out... Well.

"W...well, what about you, Haruhi?" Kyon worried, still not meeting my eyes, or Mikuru's.

"This particular area of discussion might benefit from being explored later," Yuki suggested quietly, a faintly amused smile on her lips.

I realized she had a point and nodded grudgingly. "S...so, you all stuck together? You all ... just got over what happened to you?"

"Pretty much," Kyon agreed, while Mikuru nodded, fanning her face with one hand and still blushing faintly. "Um - there's not much to talk about. We settled down, for the most part- I'm sure your life has been much more interesting, though." He leaned forward with a gentle smile. "I have no idea how you came here - what made you choose to visit us. Tell us how things have worked out for you?"

"I-" I shook my head. "I suppose ... you don't know anything about what happened after you left? Um, in ... our... The other world?"

"Mikuru mentioned that ... eh ... Koizumi was behind part of it," Kyon admitted. "I, uh ... pissed off Yuki's bosses, so they arranged a deal with him to get rid of me."

"Yuki's bosses?" I remembered that Yuki was supposed to be a being with powers - evidently one of several that Kyon had known - but I'd never heard anything about whoever it was Yuki would supposedly have answered to. At the time ... it just wasn't the part of the equation that worried me.

"The Integrated Data Sentience Entity," Yuki explained. "They created me and other human contact purposed interfaces to communicate with humans, primarily for the purposes of observing you and your abilities. Asakura Ryouko was one of these."

I nodded, grimacing. That didn't feel good ... to know that I had been studied by aliens who wouldn't openly talk to me? Well ... I supposed that Yuki was one of them, come to think of it.

"In my time, that is ... the future I was from," Mikuru continued, "the IDSE had lost interest in our planet and our people at, um ... the point where you left. But they weren't the only aliens out there that were interested in humanity. The Sky Canopy Domain had been trying to communicate with us during the same time, but all of their messages were being corrupted by the resonance between ... well...

"The important thing is that the Sky Canopy Domain was interested in learning about human culture and experience. Their attention was drawn by you initially, Haruhi, but they determined that communicating with you would be difficult ... so they found someone else that they thought was suitable."

I looked at the woman curiously, but she just smiled and pointed at Kyon.

"Your desire to encounter the unusual and unnatural caused his path to cross with yours in such a way that accurate communication could not occur," Yuki continued.

"But ... now that you're here instead of the other universe, the Sky Canopy Domain can establish contact with someone else, which ... is ultimately what let me finally be the Mikuru that could save Kyon - and Yuki's memories, too! I was able to ask the Suou Kuyou in another time for instructions that I could give to her in the past - so that we could escape," Mikuru concluded with a tiny sigh.

I looked at the girl at my side, wondering. "Your memories?" I had to ask.

"Ah, yes ... the Nagato Yuki of that world couldn't leave without being destroyed because of her dependence on the IDSE," Yuki explained. "So, she left enough of herself behind to appear to be convincingly destroyed, and then copied all of her memories and powers into storage.

"This world already had a human Nagato Yuki ... but one that was in an extremely damaged emotional state due to the circumstances of this reality's creation," she continued.

I grimaced at that thought, and Kyon looked incredibly guilty and uncomfortable. I can't imagine why, though ... it still seemed if it weren't for _me_, none of this would have had to have happened.

"So, then ... do ... I know you?" I wondered. What Yuki was in front of me? At least I understood why she wore glasses again, but did that mean this girl was actually a stranger?

"With the data of two incomplete or damaged versions of myself, I am a more complete person," Yuki explained. "At least, that is how I feel. I am not the being that cannot express herself, nor the one that cannot hold her emotions in check. And for both of the sets of memories that comprise my being now ... he is still my friend - and I am no longer lonely." She paused for a moment, blinking, then offered, "I would like to be your friend, too."

That seemed to suggest that she was happy, like I had hoped. I supposed Kyon and Mikuru really were taking care of her...

"And even if it's more limited these days, she was able to manipulate data enough for us to get passports and paperwork," Kyon contributed.

But ... if he really didn't have any grudge against me, there was something I didn't understand. I know there has to be one, or else he wouldn't have differentiated between 'Suzumiya' and 'Haruhi' when he saw me ... though, understanding that now actually makes an almost painful warmth fill my chest. I still have to ask, "S...so ... why aren't you better friends with the other copy of me, then? You _know_ her, so... Why don't you even call her by her first name?"

"Well, for me it's ... difficult, since she's not _you_," he admitted with a cautious smile. "Ah- We e-mail, still, since she insists on staying in touch ... she gave me a picture with her hair up, and told me to think of it as you...

"Anyway, mostly she tells me what the copies of my family do - since ... there was no original 'me' of this world. I was just moved over from the original universe when this one was made. Basically, when I got back to the original world from this one, there was a hole in this world where I used to be.

"To me, it's too strange to try and take back a place in that family. I didn't even let them know I was here, since I'm not ... really ... the person they think I am. That's a big part of why we came here. I don't like that, in their eyes, someone vanished one day without any explanation and was never seen again... But I think it might be even more difficult trying to explain everything. Well, I like to hear that they're okay anyway - especially that other little sister."

"She's pretty amazing," I managed, remembering.

"Oh, yeah? You stayed close with my sister?" Kyon asked, raising his eyebrows and smiling at me hopefully.

I felt my eyes tearing again, and managed a rough smile. "She actually hates me, because ... everyone in that world believes that I killed you, and Yuki, and Mikuru out of jealousy," I admitted. "And until ... not very long ago ... I believed that too."

I was surprised when Yuki shifted in the seat next to me, releasing my hand and moving to put one arm around me, holding me close. "It is okay," she said. "You are with friends."

Heaving a sigh, blinking away my tears, I managed an uneven smile. "Okay," I agreed. I owed Kyon at least the truth, didn't I? "S...so..."

* * *

After I finished explaining the entire story, I looked around the people who had offered me so much support and sympathy so far. Yuki was hugging me, and I'd be lying if I said that seeing her alive like that wasn't just as wonderful as seeing Kyon again. Mikuru continued holding one of my hands and offering the occasional soft pat.

Kyon's had expression had shifted to a very somber, disappointed one, before he sighed, rising from his armchair and moving to sit on the edge of the coffee table, right in front of me. He took my other hand and said, "I don't ... even know where to begin, Haruhi.

"I can say that I'm sorry ... I truly wish it hadn't worked out that way, and I..." He heaved a frustrated sigh, looking away. "I like to think that ... you can trust your friends. With one real exception, which you just told me about, it's always been the right path for me.

"And for that, well ... I think your story points out that I'm right - and that person just wasn't a friend," he concluded.

"S...so ... what ... happens now?" I wondered. "D...do you want me to take - I- Wait! I can take us all back to our own world!" My eyes widened in sudden realization. Why didn't I think of this earlier? I came here, right? Why couldn't I go back? And bring them with me? I could set everything back the way it should be!

That was a way to set things right, finally! "I could fix everything!" I continued excitedly. "We don't-"

I was so startled by Mikuru pressing a fingertip to my lips, I fell silent instantly. "Haruhi ... I don't ... think that happens," she said with a small shake of her head, still smiling. "Our histories say that Kyon never came back to that world. Even though I'm sure you could find a way around that..."

"We _have_ had three years to get used to this," Kyon added. "I do miss our old world and my family, but it's not like life here is terrible. I'd like to somehow make my sister give you a friendly smile again, but if that can't be done... Eh, Haruhi ... why not stay here with us? As Mikuru explained things to me, that universe doesn't believe you come back anyway."

As soon as he said it, I realized it was what I really wanted to hear.

That this bright world where nobody knew me, and my friends were alive and happy had room for me. "I can stay?" I asked meekly, barely able to believe it. After everything that had happened, even if they forgave me ... wouldn't I be interfering in their lives?

Though... Considering how things worked out... The sudden memory of the last thing I'd done before leaving that world stuck in my chest like a lump that couldn't work its way through my heart. What had I done? It was bad enough that Koizumi treated me as something more and better than human ... but to behave _worse_?

"No," I groaned, shaking my head. "I... I can't stay- I at least ... have to go back and let Koizumi ... go."

"What happened to him?" Kyon cautiously asked, making me wince. I hadn't been able to bring myself to mention that part ... trying not to admit to myself the enormity of what I'd done.

"According to history, nothing," Mikuru answered with a puzzled frown. "He takes a role as an ambassador to Suou's kind - considered an expert in speaking with beings beyond humanity."

I wasn't sure what to make of that. If Suou had powers, maybe she would take care of it? But ... that doesn't make _me_ feel less responsible. "I don't... I don't like that our choices are made for us by things like that," I finally muttered.

"In that world," Mikuru agreed. "But this world is invisible, unknown to everyone from the world we came from- So it doesn't have any bearing on this one, does it?"

"There are more freedoms, and fewer restrictions," Yuki added quietly.

When they said that, I supposed that they were right. I could ignore the problem, and probably someone else would take care of it. Or...

Okay ... I'd done enough on that count. I didn't really care to think of it in the terms that Koizumi taught me, but bearing a grudge against him when I'd found a way to escape that world was beyond pointless. I thought about it and focused - he didn't deserve an eternal punishment. I wasn't ... sure how quickly it would work, given the separation of our timelines. But he didn't deserve to either live forever, or suffer.

I wondered ... I supposed that was my actual final interaction with that world - I wanted my power to stop, and restore him to the state of before I had tried to hurt him. What he was going to do in that world ... well, it wasn't my problem, anymore. He was free to do it without my interference - or help.

There was a possibility that he might suffer for a _little_ before the power worked on him, but I didn't want to risk meddling further. That was it, then- If I was really welcome to stay here...

"Okay," I said quietly, managing a tremulous smile. "U...um... But then, after that, I'm not ... sure what to do, anymore."

"Whatever you wish," Yuki replied. "Like us, your vocation until this point has been decided for you. Now, you may choose new futures on your own."

...I hadn't even thought of it like that. When she put it in such a way ... I really hadn't made as many of my own choices in recent years as I probably should have.

"W...what do you do, if Kyon's a translator?" I wondered. Had I ever really thought about what my friends would do for careers when I knew them? Before everything had fallen apart? How long had it been since I thought about what _I_ would do?

"I am a literary critic," Yuki replied.

"I'm just a teacher," Mikuru answered.

"_Doctor_ Asahina has a Ph.D in Botany," Kyon added helpfully, smirking at her. "She teaches at a college."

The woman blushed modestly at that. "I...it's not such a big deal," she countered, shaking her head.

Those weren't things that I thought she could do. Though when I thought about it... "I guess my English isn't at your level yet," I sighed.

"Why not come to school with me?" Mikuru suggested. "You can practice there while studying - if you don't know what you want to do yet, maybe that would be a good place to figure it out? Now that money isn't as tight, I've been trying to convince Kyon to go again for a while!"

"Well, I'm not a genius," Kyon countered, snorting, offering a soft smile to show it didn't really bother him. "I kind of dropped out in my second year of high school, so I'm a bit behind, you know?"

"I don't have a high school diploma either," I said, shaking my head. And in the meantime, unless I survived off my powers, what could I really contribute? "I mean ... I could _make_ one, but it wouldn't give me what I need to know - so we're in the same boat on that count!"

"I will help you study," Yuki offered. "I have not needed to manipulate data for some time, but I believe I can handle all of the paperwork for you still."

"And Kyon could use a study partner," Mikuru pressed, though I could tell her focus was more on him than me. That ... really actually sounded good, when I thought about it. He looked uncertain, like he was really thinking about it.

"If we're on the same page - why don't we do that?" I asked him. "I... I think studying with Yuki is fine ... but taking classes with someone I know..." I trailed off there, unable to press further.

"Yes, it's spring, here, and the academic year starts in fall - you should have enough time to catch up if you like," Mikuru encouraged. "Both of you, in fact- Kyon, you can easily cut back to part-time work, you know!"

I gave Kyon a shy, hopeful smile. I'd wanted to go back to school so badly, in my own world, and there hadn't been an option. But here... I couldn't relive my life without cheating, but I ... really did want to go back to school. If I could do it with Kyon as a friend, too...

"Well," Kyon managed in response, blushing, staring at the floor. "I ... guess it's true I should do more than just translate for tourists... Okay- If that's what you'd like, Haruhi, I think I'll make enough even part-time to pay for both of us to go."

I blinked at that, belatedly realizing... Money? I could _make_ that... "Kyon ... I have powers," I reminded him, not able to really be annoyed. "You think I'd worry about money?" Certainly, I wasn't going to let him bear the entire burden himself!

"More like I was hoping I could offer you something at all," he answered, his smile fading. "Really ... after everything you've been through, I hardly feel I can offer enough."

"We're ... friends, right?" I asked cautiously.

"Absolutely," he agreed without hesitation.

"Then ... you're offering me everything I need," I assured him. "But ... I can't take over your room, so I guess I'll have to make some money to get a place..."

"W...well, it's not perfect, but you can share my room," Mikuru offered quickly, giving me a gentle smile. "It's the master bedroom, so there's more space!"

...somehow, even though there are details to work out, still, I can't help but feel happier than I have in a long, long time. "That sounds almost perfect," I agreed, while Kyon looked relieved.

* * *

Author's notes: Gentle reader, as the curtain closes, we hope you have enjoyed tonight's tale, and bid you a fond farewell ... until next time.

If you should wish to hear the version of the song Kyon was trying to perform, we feel it's best performed by Israel Kamakawiwo'ole.

Unexpectedly, the revisions here also made room for an epilogue, which we had not previously considered. At your discretion, you may choose to either consider the tale complete here, or return briefly for the after-show, an act you may choose instead to ignore.


	4. Aftershow: Epilogue

Downfall Aftershow: Epilogue

(Romance/Introspection)

A 'Melancholy of Suzumiya Haruhi' fanfiction.

Disclaimer: The novel 'Suzumiya Haruhi no Yuuutsu'/'The Melancholy of Suzumiya Haruhi' is the creation of Nagaru Tanigawa. No disrespect is intended by the posting of this fanfiction, as I do not own the characters or settings involved. I'm merely dabbling with another set of paints. ;)

Note: Gentle reader, you may enojy or ignore this small performance, as you see fit. :)

* * *

The day of my college graduation was almost everything I had ever hoped it could be. I wouldn't have minded my family being there, but being honest, even before I left my own world behind, there was uncomfortable distance between us.

Distance brought about by my powers... I never actually realized it until Kyon and me had started taking classes together, but there was an important difference between how he acted toward me and how Koizumi had.

Kyon always saw me as a person, first and foremost, and considered my powers second.

Mikuru admitted to me at one point when I mentioned that to her that she saw my powers first, when she was younger - but hearing Kyon speak about me...

And, oh, _boy_ was that an awkward phase. Naturally, it's something we keep subtle, but sharing a room, Mikuru and I talked ... a lot.

I never would have considered the possibility if things hadn't gotten to the point they already had, but... Let's face it ... Kyon liked both of us well enough, and I knew Mikuru had to have feelings at least as much as I did, since she had confessed to him when she was given the chance. She was perceptive enough to tell that I really liked him, too...

It took a lot of embarassing fumbling, and some really, really awkward discussions, but we worked something out. It's ... a bit odd, but I like both of them, and they both like me... It's naturally a lot closer between either of us and Kyon than one-another, but it's alright. The most resistant one was Kyon, and it wasn't out of a sense of propriety or anything; he's not a total prude.

Really, he was just so nervous about the idea of messing things up with either of us he wasn't sure how to act. And that was actually, really, the thing that showed me how much I was willing to accept. All of us lost our original world and had just one-another ... probably, the funniest part was when Mikuru and I were both not thinking about a compromise - and making him feel conflicted by encouraging him to get closer to the other.

It's a little embarassing to admit, but I'm glad it worked out. As strange as things are, I must aknowledge that both Mikuru and I were relieved that Yuki wasn't interested in that part of things. She liked being with us, just not in [i]that[/i] sense. Really, once we got everything together, her teasing input was, "Now that smaller room can become a library."

Yuki with a more obvious sense of humor was a bit strange, but easy to get along with - and a good friend. She helped Kyon and I study, which brings me back to where we were - graduation.

Kyon and I both had made a small handful of other friends in college, and they were standing in the crowd, next to Yuki and Mikuru. But ... with Kyon, Mikuru, and Yuki all there, that was what really mattered to me.

My degree was in education, and Kyon's was in linguistics. For all his claims not to be a genius, he picked up language and communication skills amazingly well, so he pretty much took the 'easy route.' I wasn't sure where I wanted to go with my studies at first, but I enjoyed school. And thinking back to the world we left behind ... I had enjoyed teaching, too.

Mikuru certainly seemed to be happy with her role, teaching college students. Somewhere, there was the idea that the four of us - if Yuki was willing to handle accreditation - could probably start a very small private school for bilingual students. It's something I would be able to bring up later, so there was no reason to mention it during the graduation ceremony.

Amusingly, since we were listed by name, Kyon happened to be before me when he went up to accept his degree. I followed, and then we rejoined the waiting formation of other passing students, waiting for the ceremony to finish. There weren't terribly many people after us, anyway - and then the ceremony was concluded and we hugged as the crowd around us cheered.

It didn't take Mikuru and Yuki long to break through the crowd and join us. It just seemed so perfect, I almost wanted the moment to last forever.

When I released Kyon, I almost immediately got hugged by Yuki, while Mikuru grabbed Kyon... We weren't being overt with our relationship, but there's something nice about living in a country and culture where no one blinks twice at hugging like this.

I really don't miss the old world that much.

* * *

After joining some classmates and heading out for drinks, we decided to call it an early night. None of us were that big on getting drunk, and we wanted to have a slightly more private celebration between us. I was a bit tipsy, but not much. Mikuru had less than me and was even wobblier on her feet, but none of us were interested in getting any more intoxicated than that.

Yuki may have been the exception, already dozing and riding on Kyon's back, for the walk home. Once we got there, Kyon and Mikuru made her drink a large cup of water, and she roused enough to curl up on the armchair.

The rest of us shared the couch, Kyon in the middle. It was a surprisingly comfortable arrangement, really.

I could have used my powers to make myself sober, but I was happy with being just a tiny bit fuzzy at the moment. Kyon didn't much mind when I used my powers, but being honest, other than some business when I first arrived to make myself a proper identification and some starting money...

There really hadn't been any need to. I worried at first for a while if I was doing the right thing - if I was being selfish by not working for the good of the world. Kyon had thought about it for a long while, and then said it was all beyond him - but he didn't see that having my powers took away my right to live my own life the way I wanted to, as long as it didn't hurt anyone else.

Typical of him, really, to say it's beyond him and give an answer like that anyway.

And after those uncomfortable years in the other world, I like doing things the hard way more. Things feel more like I earn them if I actually work for them.

That also doesn't mean I can't do some small good here and there - not that anyone other than Mikuru, Kyon, or Yuki would realize it was me. In the vein of what Kyon said, and I realized was true ... I have to let humanity make its own choices.

So I won't interfere in what people do to one-another ... as sad as that might be. People make their own choices. Still - natural disasters in recent years haven't been as bad as they could be. There are a lot of lucky people out there, as far as anyone has to know.

And if the day after a tsunami hits, Kyon is reading the headline about how few injuries there were, and gives me that warm smile and doesn't say anything else...

I like that a lot better than how things used to be.

I cuddled up to Kyon a little, mirroring Mikuru as I thought of that.

"I was thinking," I announced. "About what to do now that we've graduated."

"Well, neither of our degrees are good for a whole lot other than teaching," Kyon answered, smirking.

"It might take some work, especially without cheating, but if we wanted, we could either make our own tutoring company, or maybe even a very small private school," I explained, thinking of what had been going through my head during graduation.

"Oh?" Mikuru wondered, tilting her head to one side. "What focus? There are plenty of small and private schools already."

"It goes back to what Kyon used to do - still does, part-time," I explained. "There are a lot of tourists, and some people immigrate ... enough, I think that we could focus on bilingual students - families that wanted their children to learn English, but not to forget Japanese, as well. All of us know those two languages anyway, and Kyon's degree is _in_ languages... I can handle general education, and you could probably do the same, Mikuru."

She's got a lot more range than she gives herself credit for, really.

"Interesting," Yuki murmured from her seat, eyebrows rising. "I could assist with paperwork, and book and record keeping."

That was a perfect idea in my mind - Yuki didn't care to socialize much beyond us and a small crowd of her peers in the literary criticism circles.

"So - what do you think, Kyon?" I pressed.

"I think you can't get over the idea of going to school with me," he teased, shaking his head. "And you're looking for a way to loop Mikuru and Yuki back in now, too."

"Hey!" I let go of him and punched his shoulder lightly. "Smart-ass!"

"Ow!" he exclaimed, feigning injury before winking at me. "Alright," he agreed, "that actually sounds like a great idea. I'm kind of tired of translating; teaching people how to speak and read the language on their own, even kids - that sounds like it'd be a lot more fun."

"Mikuru?" I asked. At her slightly doubtful expression, I quickly added, "You don't have to - really, Kyon and I could just be tutors, and that'd be fine, too. If you enjoy where you are more, that's okay."

"I really like the idea of all of us working together," Mikuru admitted with a faint blush. "And I can't afford to be left behind if you're going to be spending all that time with Kyon, can I?"

"A good plan," Yuki agreed, before I could answer. "I have saved enough to fund the venture without," and then she paused, lips quirking into a small smile, "cheating."

And that's a great point, too. Making the world a better place is good, but doing it through the means that a person can... That's even better.

"Also, it will be beneficial for all of you to practice spending more time with children," she added, prompting the three of us on the couch to flush a bit - but not move the slightest bit away.

* * *

Author's notes: Dear reader, we hope you enjoyed this slightly extended ending, and if you didn't, dismiss it from your minds entire. Take care on your journeys...


End file.
